Topic of the Day: Life
This is a deeply scientific and mathematical look at life and living
Life, it is one of the only four letter words you are allowed to say in church. This can be proven by the simple following experiment: Find a church, and start yelling four letter words. When the congregation start beating you with Bibles, it it time to put those four letter words on the “Bad List”. When they only beat you with the hymnals that means the songs can go on the “Good List”. We can then divide the number of “Good List” words over the total number of words to get the ratio of four letter words you can say in church. Using all these numbers, ratios, lists and hymnals you are definitely doing some heavy duty math, and quite possible some history as well, but that is for another Topic of the Day. This is good because math, history, religion and science are all very important to your math, history, religion and science teachers. Logic is also very important. I will demonstrate the importance of logic in the following absolutely true thought process of mine:
- Well I am driving.
- I am on the ground.
- Still driving
- Driving
- Wait, What!? What’s this!?
- I’m not on the ground anymore!
- I am on some sort of man-made structure composed of concrete, steel, and other various metal alloys that is elevated above ground level supported by pillars and is durable enough to support the combined weight of many cars that are traveling over it!
- Oh, it’s just an overpass.
- Okay.
As you can see I used, deduction, induction, ad hominem, post hoc ergo proctor hoc, cogito ergo sum, and fallacy, which are all very common forms of words coming from my english book. You might be saying, “Jack, I know you know what all these words mean, but can you explain them to me?” The correct answer here would be: “No, because I can do whatever I want, and also because I really do not know what they mean.”
All of this brings us back to our topic of the day, which is life. (Really, Go look!) You may be asking, “Jack, how is it possible for me to be asking questions when this article is already published before I can read it?” My answer would be, “LIFE”.
Now please, let me get some sleep.