Well this morning I woke up and found out that I was a Liberal. At first I thought it was a giant zit, but no, I was really a liberal. Then I remembered that I did not wear protection last night, that must have been it. So now with my new found liberalism, I will prove to you why us liberals are the bestest.
All of you who say we should be in Iraq are just soooo stupid. I mean, even the great U.N. didn’t back us up in there. Can you not see that we are only there for the money? All that money. All the money we will be seeing any time now, because I know that is the real reason we are there. When you try to claim that we are there to free the Iraqis from a “terrorist” you should be ashamed. Just because he murdered everyone who did not agree with him so not make him a terrorist. Just because he used terror to get his view across does not make him a terrorist. The Iraqis wanted him there anyway, CNN told me.
And also, we should send all of our troops into Darfur and ignore what the U.N. says. They don’t know anything anyway. The terrorist organization is killing lots of people over there and that needs to be stopped immediately by us. How can you just sit around and watch as they die?
And abortion. Who do you think you are to tell a woman not to “murder” her baby. Its her own life and she can do what ever she wants. Maybe that baby will grow up to be a serial killer, or worse, a libertarian! Would you like all that blood on your hands?!? Would YOU!?!?!?
Capitalism is just way stupid. When you use the following argument: “Who do you think you are to tell a person what to do with their money. Its their life and they can do what they want.” you just sound stupid. So do not use it. That argument is so full of fallacies that you could build a ship (I never really got that one…) It is obvious that people do not know what is good for them. We need to make sure they always save money for retirement, always give money to poor people, always give money to my bloated government and always not have money for themselves. Because, like, money is evil. It is obvious that bank robberies would decrease dramatically if we just got rid of it. And also, I like communism.
And also, stop believing in God because that is so obviously wrong and you are just stupid. All you want is to spout your lies to my children (I forgot to abort them).
Muslims are so great. Why don’t you just let them believe in their God, who are you to tell them what to believe in? Just let them attack us, it is our fault for being the greatest country in the world. We deserve every tower that fell and every life that was lost.
And global warming. And Bush is stupid. And second hand smoke.
Oh, wait. I was a giant zit. Nevermind.
haha jack!! and let me point out that I was the first post victory is mine. I liekd it jack…i actually understood it..all that political and big issue talk
Yes. Liberals are funny. According to the greatest rock band of our time: This life is more than just a fread through.
yeah
you win the prize. its a goat.
here you go
^^ that was for maura
and bendetta, what band?
yeah
i dont exaclty know what i meant by that post. i didn’t even spell read correctly.
sweet. I think you should dress up as a liberal for All Hallow’s Eve tomorrow. Yes we are going trick or treating.
ill be a liberal if we go trick-or-treat-or-moneying
yeah..liberals!!!
I really enjoy how smokers are terrorizing families across the state, and how now all of a sudden it is a terrible crime to either support our president or governor and that support is an attack point for liberals.
btw, I just heard a political ad saying how terrible it was that somebody’s opponent shot down a bill for a minimum wage raise to $6.85 and how …crap I forgot, but it was stupid. Liberals want to strip the people of their rights and raise taxes. If you do not want to live in a socialist nation, vote Libertarian (or Republican if you wuss out).
LIBERALS ARE R-TARDS
jacredible:
im a little nervous on your arguements here because although mostly are hilariously good, some are not so. the Iraq war…was kind of a giant mistake for a couple reasons. arab culture is mostly based of a system of patrimony where family is the only thing you can trust. the problems over there right now are do to ethnic squirmishes and relgious clashes between factions within the country, all based on who gets who with pertaining to rich oil fields. democracy cannot work in iraq until there is education, but utimately until there is trust. the only way our governemtn can function is if its citizens have some sort of trust in it. the people in Iraq have not be able to enjoy this freedom of trust in a long time, and its not something we can magically make happen. it will take a lot of time. also…please don’t ever say “just let the muslim attack us”. you can say “just let the islamic extremeists or arab facsists attack us” but don’t make us look ignorant by grouping together the fundamentalist idiotic murderers with the everyday, God fearing law abiding Muslim. The reason a lot of people n the Middle East hate us today is because of our governmental policies toward Israel, not because we are Christian Infidels. anyway….you’re probably going to disown me…but someone has to stick up for the ‘ol libs now and again.
hold on…sorry for the horrid editorial errors. we’re minardis. we do what we want. let me clarify something…it was very important that saddam was detained and taken out of power…and the resulting problems were unavoidable….its just that the mistake was in our thinking that any and every nation wants to be a democracy and has the capabilties to do so.
I am posting this from the apple store in chicgo oin the sweetest computer i’ve ever used. It’s a mac pro with two dual core intel xeon processors and two 30 inch HD displays. Its sweet
Yeah, I think everybody needs to be a little more PC. I know I’m guilty too. Paul Revere was way out of line when he said, “The British are Coming!” Not all of the British were coming and certainly not all of the Ones who didn’t come wanted their soldiers to. If he wasn’t such a bigot he should’ve said, “The English-speaking people who have chosen to invade are coming!”
And what’s up with everybody accusing Christians of crusades in the Medieval Age. I am outrageously offended every time I hear that “Christians” went crusading. Peopel should just say “God-worshipping extremists or Jesus-fanatics led the crusades.” Not all Christians go on crusades. I don’t.
PC is BS.
democracy is the best for people so if we are charged with setting up a government, we will set up a democracy. I never said all muslims want to kill us, i said muslims want to kill us. When someone says “those people want to meet us”, they do not mean all people, they just mean the ones who want to meet them. When i say those muslims want to kill us, i just mean those muslims who want to kill us.
I am not singling them out, not treating them different, not being racist. Infact, by demanding i treat them differently than i would any other human, you are singling them out. I know you mean no harm, but aslong as differences are pointed out, there will be racism.
and george bush
“And what’s up with everybody accusing Christians of crusades in the Medieval Age. I am outrageously offended every time I hear that “Christians” went crusading. Peopel should just say “God-worshipping extremists or Jesus-fanatics led the crusades.” Not all Christians go on crusades. I don’t.”
You do realize that the Pope at time of the first crusade said that “God wills it!”. Thats another thing I don’t like about the Catholic Church. I don’t like government in my government; so why would I want it in my religion.
Genari…you are funny. Go out and drive to Kentucky with your newly acquired governmentally liscensed self.
You all are very (sarcastically)opinionated about stuff
http://www.gp.org/
nice twisted logic, jack my boy. since when were we “charged” to set up democracies in the middle east? other that when the angel gabriel came to bushie in a dream and told him so. and who is this genari. making cracks on the ‘ol cathies, eh? cute cute. the green party doesn’t like government? hmm.
man! i didn’t even see that other one. the british are coming? let the muslims attack us. comparable i suppose. if it wasn’t for the fact that england is a country…located in one place with one government and islam is a global religion, where most of the followers could give a rat’s ass about american politics. PC may be BS, but ignorance is just sad.
Wait, i don’t see how it is at all relevant whether they’re all in one place or not (i.e. the British and the Muslims). O yeah, we can only stereotype when all the members of the group we stereotype are together and waya from us, that way they don’t hear us. That last post really doesn’t even make sense…anyways, Genari, you’re Catholic, unless I’m wrong, so stop hatin’ on your religion. If you’re not, stop hatin on my religion…I am gravely offended. The fact that I don’t care whether Muslims like me or not doen’t make me ignorant. I don’t like it when Muslims kill people from my country.
(If you want to know how I really feel about Muslims, check the post on my site…click my name)
The main point I forgot to mention was…Hows comes people can say the Catholics went crusading but no one can say Muslims go terrorist-ing? Shouldn’t it be Catholico-fascist extremists went crusading?
Dear Jon,
I read your website and found myself convulsing in both laughter and tears. I do say that the “religion ahead” was a personal fav of mine…and I truely wish I had the time and patience to point out all the beauty in it. The rapant racism, the ugly ignorance, the conceit…gee golly. I had no idea that Muslims love a god that likes robbery! All along I thought that Judaism, Christianity and Islam all worshipped the same God! Silly, silly me. Of course you would know more about Islam, than, well, all the Muslims. Your IQ is through the roof! Synagogues? Temples? I always thought they were called mosques! I’m learning so much new stuff here. Its really cool that although you know as much about the Muslim faith as say, a common house cat, you can still critize its faults to show how great your religion is! Dear me. All along I thought Christians were supposed to love everyone but I guess muslims aren’t humans! So we don’t have to! This is great, great news because now I don’t have to feel bad when we kill Iraqi citizens. Besides, all Muslims look alike. So we wouldn’t even be able to tell one from the other…so we probably should just kill them all. And how weird. I always thought Jesus had only one name too but apparently, in order for him to be credible, he must have had a really sweet last name. Like McArdle! I always thought that Islam taught that Muhammad was the last in the line of prophets, starting with Abraham. Kind of like how our Jesus was following the line and was our Messiah. But that’s just crazy. and Muhammad was too! Thank you Jon for all this enlightenment. Its all very revealing and exciting.
Yours Truely,
Rebecca Minardi
burn…even tho jon was joking…
This is Jon being at jacks house ergo therefore upon his name. Considering the time is 2:30 EST, I am not compelled to defend myself right now. But I just made the comment to Jack that if you are trying to own/burn/hoe me, you attempts were unsuccessful. Make me feel stupid for something I said, don’t just tell me what I said. Maybe I am ripping on Muslims but it’s not like several of them don’t like ripping on our buildings/troops. I don’t feel at all dumb about anything you just commented on. Or really anything I ever say. And I know how to spell truly.
Mine truthinessly,
Jon McArdle
everyone wins I suppose….
you guys go to the extreme with this stuff, if I could write about stuff like that for a long time and make sense of it I woukd but I can’t
and Ben..hahaha…
sure. who are you
you know who i am..hahaha
maura
no..most likely not..and question with the times appearing with the comments…those r not accuarate..its only9:07…and this is jane doe
maura, you gave your real email address
and the server is based in canada, which must not have daylight savings time
i did?…o well..is that bad? and secondly canada? is American time not good enough?
ok….i need you chickiez to explain this joke that was on my laffy taffy wrapper..its very confusing. Be prepared.
Question: What garden has the most vegetables?
Answer: A flash garden
dear jon mcardle,
please try to be a little bit more arrogant; maybe one day you can work your way into the guiness book of world records! in any event, it is very fulfilling to see that you haven’t changed since 6th grade, and therefore you probably never will. it is more likely that you will spontaneously combust from egotism. please feel free to viciously disprove my theory or correct my grammar. have a nice evening.
with warmest regards,
a purple lampshade
Umm, if I’m arrogant, then idc. According to prophecy, I am sweet. And right. And I am better than you because I can stand by what I say and put my real name…unless you are still Rebecca…w/e whoever you are somehow indicate your real name. Who could you be that knew me in 6th grade? I probably haven’t changed because I am resolute and decided. No reason to change my self when I was right all along. You are not …ummm…you suck.
O yeah, and egotism doesn’t cause spontaneous combustion, r tard.
jaquita:
We need another post, please. I don’t want to listen to JM’s whining anymore. I jest, I jest. But seriously. Perhaps one fitting for the season. The whole libs hate Christians, Christ and Christmas? That’s always been one of my favorite tales. Either that r an informative article on the migration habits of sea otters. That would probably offend a lot of people so maybe you should just stick to the first one.
With a Politically Correct Happy Season (Apparently, libs don’t like the word “holiday” because it is really mean to people who don’t have a holiday to celebrate. They feel left out. Poor kids.),
Someone who Misses Christmas
i agree