Well this morning I woke up and found out that I was a Liberal. At first I thought it was a giant zit, but no, I was really a liberal. Then I remembered that I did not wear protection last night, that must have been it. So now with my new found liberalism, I will prove to you why us liberals are the bestest.
All of you who say we should be in Iraq are just soooo stupid. I mean, even the great U.N. didn’t back us up in there. Can you not see that we are only there for the money? All that money. All the money we will be seeing any time now, because I know that is the real reason we are there. When you try to claim that we are there to free the Iraqis from a “terrorist” you should be ashamed. Just because he murdered everyone who did not agree with him so not make him a terrorist. Just because he used terror to get his view across does not make him a terrorist. The Iraqis wanted him there anyway, CNN told me.
And also, we should send all of our troops into Darfur and ignore what the U.N. says. They don’t know anything anyway. The terrorist organization is killing lots of people over there and that needs to be stopped immediately by us. How can you just sit around and watch as they die?
And abortion. Who do you think you are to tell a woman not to “murder” her baby. Its her own life and she can do what ever she wants. Maybe that baby will grow up to be a serial killer, or worse, a libertarian! Would you like all that blood on your hands?!? Would YOU!?!?!?
Capitalism is just way stupid. When you use the following argument: “Who do you think you are to tell a person what to do with their money. Its their life and they can do what they want.” you just sound stupid. So do not use it. That argument is so full of fallacies that you could build a ship (I never really got that one…) It is obvious that people do not know what is good for them. We need to make sure they always save money for retirement, always give money to poor people, always give money to my bloated government and always not have money for themselves. Because, like, money is evil. It is obvious that bank robberies would decrease dramatically if we just got rid of it. And also, I like communism.
And also, stop believing in God because that is so obviously wrong and you are just stupid. All you want is to spout your lies to my children (I forgot to abort them).
Muslims are so great. Why don’t you just let them believe in their God, who are you to tell them what to believe in? Just let them attack us, it is our fault for being the greatest country in the world. We deserve every tower that fell and every life that was lost.
And global warming. And Bush is stupid. And second hand smoke.
Oh, wait. I was a giant zit. Nevermind.