In english we have to write an essay, so I decided to use this medium to practice in! Here is the first draft of my essay:
When I was told to write this essay I was depressed. But then I go to thinking, “I am depressed. I am a man. Therefore, I am hungry.” Using this simple syllogism I was able to deduct that I must be hungry. Then using some induction I went to the pantry and found a huge fallacy. There were no more cheez-its! This caused some post hoc ergo proctor hoc and some ad hominem. At one point I was so mad I non sequitured all over the wall. It was at this point I realized things were getting out of hand. So I started to ruminate, exacerbate, and contemplate when I realized that they key to a good essay was an expansive vocabulary. But seeing that in this current state of my existence I was not in the possession of one to write home about I decided just to end this sentence with an exclamation point!
This is of course is just a first draft. I need to expand it to 10 pages. I plan on doing this by adding large margins and raising my font point. Hopefully she can’t tell the difference between 12 point font and 98 point font. I also plan on adding images to make it longer. Another way to lengthen essays is to add quotes. Quotes are great because even if you make them up they are still quotes. I plan on quoting everyone I know and quite possibly I will even quote some insects that a wide range of vocal noise. (A great example of post hoc ergo proctor hoc is the West African Humming Beetle, and I quote: “Humminy hummmmm hummminnyyy hummm SCREEEAAACCCHHHHH hum”) After putting in meaningless quotes and many graphics I think I will have enough for 10 pages.
I think the best way to end this post is by a quote from the Giant Peruvian Flea: “MOOOOOOOOOO”