Tag Archive for 'hosting'

Of Current Things and Such As

Well here we go, this is me typing a post. First I have a few things I need to get off my chest: Number One, only humans can comment on posts from now on. Did you here that Ivan Kuznetsov? We all know you are really a moose. Stemming directly from number one is Number Two, I will be accepting applications for the job of Assistant to Mr.Minardi. Basically you will do all the assistantly duties such as phone messages, e-mail responses, phone responses, e-mail messages, phone e-mails, the occasional dry cleaning, and sometimes lip gloss testing. And finally Number Three, Niggardly. Seriously.

Wow, it really feels great to finally be able to get all of that out of my system. They have all been swimming around in my head like dolphins. Leaping and playing with the other ideas until they are caught in a tuna net and murdered by rusty knives. Yep, just like dolphins.

I guess that is all I have to say today, hopefully I will be able to write more some time in the future. And by future I mean tomorrow, and by some time I mean the next day, and by guess I mean a message expressing an opinion based on incomplete evidence. So there you have it, my first post on my blog’s second virginity.

The Beast Has Been Slain

After hours upon hours of hard work I have finally done the impossible. I am officially hosting this site of my home computer. Now those of you who think this is an easy task either use words like localhost, phpmyadmin, xampp, and lampp way too often, or are just stupid. If you fall into the first category, why didn’t you help me when I really needed it? If you fall into the second category, you will fit right in with my regular readers. JK!! (That stands for “Just Kidding”).

I foresee a few problems that must be worked out though. Number one is that I have no idea how to run a server, and have no idea how I even got this far. Stemming directly from number one is that I have no idea how to secure a server, making it very easy for me to be infiltrated. Let me draw a mental picture here. Imagine my website is like a mini sand castle. Now imagine that evil hackers are like little babies on the beach. Normally these little babies would be repelled by my awesome moat full of crabs and seaweed, and also by me with a shotgun, but today the moat is full of candy, my shotgun is really a rainbow flag and the little babies have atleast 90 inch diameter biceps. And also imagine I left the drawbridge down and the door wide open. On top of that imagine that I broadcast my security holes on my website. Now you get the picture.

So please, if you know any hackers in person, take out your cellphone when you are near them and have an imaginary conversation with someone where you bring up the fact that my site is very secure so no one should bother trying to hack it. If you notice them taking it as a challenge, just say “What’s that? It was just hacked? Oh, I guess no one should waste their time on it anymore.” That should do the trick.

Once we have all the hackers out, we can focus on content, which as everyone knows, is king. Now please let me sleep, because it is 3 in the morning.